With Open Minds and Open Hearts We Weep ((isaac))

[Sandrine Danielle Rosaire]

Sandrine felt like she was floating somewhere in space. Her body didn't really feel like it belonged to her. She tried to make sense of ... well, of everything, and to somehow pull herself out of this annoying blackness. Eventually, she began regaining a bit of awareness about her surroundings. She frowned, without opening her eyes; wherever she was, it didn't feel very familiar. The bed -or at least, what she thought was a bed- felt different, and uncomfortable, and she was chilly. There was a window open somewhere, as she could feel the cool breeze blowing in through it, and she could hear the rustling of the curtains.

After a while of just lying there, feeling battered and just exhausted, Sanrine forcefully opened her eyes. She looked around at her unfamiliar surroundings, very aware of the searing pain that hit whenever she moved her neck to look around. It was probably sometime in the late evening, as the sun looked like it wasn't long till it set. She tried to rake her brain to remember where the hell this place was, or who brought her here, but the last thing she could clearly recall was standing in the Ministry, near the door, fighting with Moses Calmer.

At the thought of Calmer's name, Sandrine realised that she really shouldn't be alive right now. She didn't know if she fought him off, or if someone came and assisted her, but she couldn't really think of a single person present at the time who would willingly forget about their own safety and come to her aid. Sandrine tried to sit up, but even as she lifted her head up, pain shot through her body, and she found herself falling back on the pillow, cursing under her breath. Bloody Calmer.

[Isaac Calmer]

[Sandrine Danielle Rosaire]

Sandrine was just a little bit more than startled to see Isaac come sit next to her. She wasn't even sure if he had just gotten here or if he had been here all along. Her head was pounding, and it felt like it was about to split open, so if she accidently missed him while she was observing the place before, she wouldn't be too surprised. Instinctively, she reached over to push his hand away from her face, but she at least managed to make it a little bit gentler than she intended. Sandrine wondered if that was mostly because every single muscle in her body was in agony, or if she was genuingly trying to be a little bit kinder to Isaac. She certainly hoped it wasn't the latter reason.

"I'm fine," she lied, knowing full well that he could see through it. However, Sandrine was a little bit more concerned with other things right now to worry about that. Things like where the hell she was, or if Moses Calmer or one of the Lestranges, or someone, was actually standing behind that door, waiting to barge in and finish her off. She glanced back at Isaac, attempting once again to sit up, "Where the hell am I?"

It took some effort to sit up, and even more so to stop herself from yelping in pain, but Sandrine managed to do it, barely. She winced as she adjusted herself on the bed, and continued examining the area. "We're not in London, are we?"

[Isaac Calmer]

[/i] fine in any sense of the word. He wanted to hold her, he wanted to kiss her... She was alive. Whatever curse his father had used against her, it was dark, and he didn't know just yet the extent of the injuries it would hold on her. But she wasn't dead, she was breathing, and to some extent Sandrine seemed willing to accept that Isaac was there. In the fact that she wasn't cussing him out. Then again, she didn't know what happened.

"Scotland, actually. My father beat you up pretty bad... I brought you here. Pretty much everyone thinks you're dead, I think you even got an obituary..." He shrugged, his hand moving to her shoulder, "I don't know what curse he used... But I have potions and stuff... If you'll just tell me where it hurts so I know which one to start making..." Isaac's brow crinkled in worry when he took in her sight, every muscle in her arms seemed like it was twitching under the weight of just sitting up. He moved his fingertips gently down her arm, stopping just short of grabbing her hand before he removed his touch.

Even in this situation, she drove him wild. He wanted so desperatly for her to be perfect. To realize that he could be perfect for her. They were both so fucked up and crazy... But crazy was perfect. They could be perfect. She was always so insistant on blocking him out though, and it seemed like she didn't plan to stop anytime soon. Sandrine Rosaire would be the death of him. He could feel the words on the tip of his tongue, but dared not utter them. 'I love you.'[/ul]

[Sandrine Danielle Rosaire]

Sandrine slowly took in everything that Isaac was saying, and tried to make sense of it all. Having been so focused on making sure she survived, at whatever costs, that was immediately her first thought. What was she supposed to do now? Who was she supposed to align herself with? Is anyone actually going to let her in after the fiasco that was the stupid celebration ball? She wondered what exactly happened with that, why things didn't work out the way they were supposed to; with the Death Eaters, as well as the group of accomplices they acquired -whose leader she wasn't allowed to know- they should have outnumbered Cosette. But obviously, something didn't go according to plan.

Sandrine was distracted from her storming thoughts by Isaac, and she turned to actually listen to what he was saying. When he asked her where she was hurting, she resisted the urge to snort and say 'everywhere', although that was honestly the truth. She had always known Moses Calmer was one hell of a fighter, she just never anticipated having to go one on one with him. All it took was a little curse . . . or not so little. She still had no idea what she hit Carter with.

"They think I'm dead?" Sandrine asked, her tone hollow. She didn't know how she felt about that. To everyone who wasn't currently in the room, she was gone. Soon to be forgotten, if that hadn't already happened. Wasn't this the very thing she had been fighting to avoid all this time? Sandrine wasn't aware of how lost she looked. She didn't know what to do now; what was the point of everything now? Everyone thought she was dead; her very sole goal in life was pointless. She had nothing and no one, well, no one but the one person that she had struggled for so long against letting in. Isaac was basically the only link to her old life now. She fell back against the pillow, staring at the ceiling, and asked, "What happens now?"

[Isaac Calmer]

[/i][/ul]

[Sandrine Danielle Rosaire]

In spite of herself and out of force of habit, Sandrine found herself moving sideways, making room for Isaac on the bed. She cursed his damn father silently and wondered what the hell had he done to her; every single movement fucking hurt. Although she didn't want to admit -in fact, she would never admit it out loud- it wasn't too bad, lying in bed, Isaac by her side, knowing that as long as they kept up their 'dead' charade, no one was every going to disturb them, that this could be her life from now on. Yet at the same time, the thought of such a tame, simple, meaningless life terrified her, and Sandrine was never fond of anything that made her even the least bit nervous.

She sighed, shaking her head after Isaac finished speaking, "Once you're dead, you're gone. No one remembers you anymore, no one cares. Some might even celebrate," she added darkly, thinking of her sister, and wondering how Sawyer felt about this. She was probably having the time of her life, the annoying little pest. "Just because you're dead, doesn't mean you get a pardon from everything, doesn't mean you're loved all of a sudden. You're just gone. You're meaningless, and your existence, whatever you did in it, it doesn't matter anymore. I need to matter, I need to do something." She was painfully aware of the note of desperation in her voice, almost hysterical. It was just so difficult to accept that now she had to start all over; the possibilities were endless, yes, but that was part of the problem. Sandrine didn't even know where to begin.

[Isaac Calmer]

[Sandrine Danielle Rosaire]

Sandrine resisted the urge to put up her walls again, to push Isaac away. She was exhausted, she was just tired of fighting all the time. Silently, she rested her head against his shoulders. Sure, she didn't agree with anything he was saying right now, but for that moment, he was all she had. She would never promise him anything as drastic as 'eternal love and loyalty', and Isaac probably knew that. He was probably very aware of the fact that as soon as she could get back on her feet, as soon as she could find a place in this crazy messed up world, Sandrine wouldn't think too much about turning her back on him and walking away.

But that wasn't an option right now.

Really, Sandrine was sort of out of options. All she had was Isaac. She knew that it wasn't as bad as she made it sound in her head, that she was most likely trying to make sure that she didn't let herself fall in too deep. That was always a problem with Isaac; she never knew when it was going to be too late, when she would become too wrapped up in what they had, however crazy and dysfunctional their relationship was. Sandrine was always afraid of turning into her father; a man who was scorned by his love, a man who was broken because he let himself fall too deep in love to realise that love was nothing but a weapon for the other person, no matter how much they claimed to care for you.

She sighed, "I matter to you today. But let's face it, who else do you have right now? What else do you have? Nothing!" She glanced up at Isaac briefly, before turning back to staring at the wall. "I'm in the same boat. But everything changes, and sooner or later, other thingsare going to come into play. If we just stay here, playing the whole 'happy couple' act, we'll be the first to go. Again." Sandrine glared at the empty space determinedly, "I won't ever let myself be one of those people. I'm not going to be weak." This was just a setback; that's how she was going to get through this.

[Isaac Calmer]

[/i]. She was afraid to give herself to him, heart and soul, because she didn't trust the world. But she had to trust him - He had to mean something. Even just a little bit.

Isaac wanted to tell her everything, he wanted to be her everything, but he had to accept that any relationship with her would never be full. There would always be another man - Fear. Her fear of death, her fear of being forgotten, her fear of not mattering any more. She would never be able to let any of that go and one day, her fear was going to be the end of her.

Falling in love wasn't weakness. Avoiding love, going out of your way to stray from the ones who mean the most to you - that was weakness at it's best. When you spend your entire life running from something great, the darker things in the world have an easier time manipulating you... And when you allow yourself to be manipulaed by evil, that's when you're weak. "I don't see how happiness equals weakness. I've never seen a broken man stand strong while he was drowning in his sorrow. Sure, broken men and women prosper every day but it's not by running from things that could fix them... It's by embracing the ones they love, and having something to fight for."

Isaac sighed, giving into his resolve. He sat up and turned to face her, his body twisting in the most uncomfortable of ways... But just one look at her made it better. Made everything better. Sweaty and dirty and physically weak, Sandrine had never seemed more beautiful. "I love you." His thumb carassed her cheek, and annoyingly slow, Isaac leaned down and caught her lips in a soft, loving kiss.[/ul]

[Sandrine Danielle Rosaire]

Sandrine needed to get away. She was falling into that familiar pattern again, she was letting herself soften up to Isaac. She was becoming weak, or even worse, she was turning into her father. He lost everything because of his love for a woman who ripped his heart and tore it apart. And she was now letting herself fall down that very same path. It scared the hell out of her, but sometimes, she just couldn't escape it, even when she was at her strongest, at her best, Isaac could often -wat too often, more than he will ever know, probably- break through her walls and reach, and almost grasp her heart in a firm hold. She had never let it get this far -or at least that's what she liked to believe- but he was coming ever so dangerously close. And right now, in that very moment, weak, tired, battered, and apparently dead to the rest of the world, Sandrine just wanted to give in. She just wanted to give up, and see what happened next.

When Isaac's lips captured hers in that sweet, soft kiss, it was more intoxicating than any of their wildest, most passionate nights, as she kissed him back, shifting closer to him. She never let it be that way; Sandrine had always preferred to keep it as physical and primitive as possible, because she knew that if she let herself think any deeper about it, she might just lose herself. And that thought terrified her beyond her wits. After a moment, she pulled away, eyes still closed, placing her forehead against Isaac's, and whispered, barely audible, "I don't know how to get back to before. I don't know what to do." Her voice was clearly lost and hollow; it was like she was speaking more to herself than to Isaac, and in a way, that was exactly what was happening.

[Isaac Calmer]